Arranged Marriage- "Never Have I Ever"

Chapter 5: "Never Have I Ever". 

Friend: "Do you even like men?"

Kanya: "I do. I like lots of men".

Friend: "I mean, do you want a man?"

Kanya: "Don't know. Never had any". 

 

Dad: "Aren't there any good boys at office who are single?"

Kanya: "All good boys are married".

Dad: "All of them?"

Kanya: "Even the bad ones are.."

Dad: "Maybe some good boys are still single. Have you been on the 20th floor ever?"

College Senior: "So, are you seeing someone?"

Kanya: "No, I am not".

Guy: "No boyfriend?"

Kanya: "No".

Guy: "Any exes?"

Kanya: "No X, No Y and No Zs"

Guy: "That was not a good joke".

Kanya: "That was not a joke".

Guy: "So no boyfriend ever?"

Kanya: "None whatsoever".

Mom: "Are all your male classmates married?"

Kanya: "No".

Mom: "So maybe you can marry one of them".

Kanya: "Maybe. Which one?"

Mom: "I like all of them. Choose any one".

Kanya: "Any one? Randomly?"

Mom: "What is random here? You already know each of them". 

Kanya: "But do we ever really know anyone?"

 

Arranged Marriage- "I didn't realise..."

I am location agnostic. Looking for a career oriented woman. If either her career or mine takes us to another city, I will be willing to discuss with my wife on what suits both of us the best.

 After such too good to be true statements from a few otherwise nice Var(s), conversation #3 or #4 goes like this:

Var: How are you?

Kanya: I am good :) How about you?

Var: Yeah, I am good too, but I have been thinking. You are in Ahmedabad and I am in Hyderabad. So, how will we meet each other?  

Kanya: Either of us could fly to meet the other one I guess.

Var: Really? Aren't you like too far away? 

Kanya:  Neither of us need to apply for a Visa to see each other, you know :P

Var: Yeah, of course. But still, I cannot see myself coming ALL THE WAY to Ahmedabad. Almost a 2 hour flight. I guess it makes more sense for both of us to look for someone who is local, you know.

Kanya: Just out of curiosity, where is this coming from? You knew where I am and you obviously knew where you are; from day 1 of us talking to each other. 

Var: Yes, but I didn't realise that we would like each other and have to eventually meet in person.

 

 

 

Arranged Marriage- "100%, you will never get"

Chapter 3:

Netflix's Sima Aunty has consistently maintained that "100%, you will never get. If 60%-70% is there, you should take it". Just like some of her clients realize that she could be right and they have to move forward and take a chance to know the "match" better, I also gradually eased my 'filters' from strict to maybe to never mind while going through online groom search in the last 3 years or so. 

But everyone is on a different place on this spectrum of strict to maybe to never mind. Which means even if you are ok with your 60%-70%, not necessary that the other person is also going to settle for  less than their 100%.

These are some true stories of how or why your 'kanya' has been rejected so far-

• You have Masters, while I am just a B.Tech degree holder. You don't want to settle for me (because he knows what I want)!
• Your daughter earns well (=more than my son which for some reason bothers me). All the best for your search.  
• It has been really fun to get to know you. But I am looking for someone who lives in the same city as I am right now (= I already found someone "more fun" in my neighborhood).
• Everything is nice, but your daughter is five feet tall. We want a girl who is atleast five feet two inches (a whole two inches!!)

My ex-room-mate always says this- "When you get married, it will be to a guy to whom you will narrate all your horrible experiences and he will not only laugh with you, he'll also probably love you for these very 'mis-matches'". Amen bestie!

Arranged Marriage- "About Var"

 Chapter 2: About 'Var'  - "Ladka kaisa chahiye?"

Movie: Wanted, Scene: The Hot Bad Boy realizes
that he does not tick off
any qualities on the Cute Good Girl's list

       ⃞Well Educated 

       ⃞With a Good Job

       ⃞Well Natured

       ⃞Handsome...nahi bhi hai to chalega

Ayesha doesn't know what she's talking about. Good Looks are very much on the list. Kareena knows.

Movie: K3G,
Scene: Selecting a Prom Date

 ⃞Well Educated (Neither R, Nor Python. Sarcasm is the language he should be well-versed in)

 ⃞With a Good Job (Someone happy with his career and secure enough to be happy with mine. At the dinner table, he MUST feed me all the office gossip).

 ⃞Well Natured (I am sweet and funny. I want sweet and funny. To hell with opposites attract).  

 ⃞Good Looking (To borrow from The Big Bang Theory, "our babies will be both smart and beautiful").

Arranged Marriage- "About Kanya"

Starting a new series on my real-life-experiences in the "Arranged Marriage" process. 

Chapter 1: "About Me Kanya"

When I start doing Life Math, it usually goes like this scene from Rachel's 30th birthday. I start off strong, firmly believing that it's not too late. I still got a couple of years to tie the knot. Which is followed by the realization that despite what I have been telling myself throughout my 20s, I do want a grand wedding (which would require time to plan). Not just that, I want a courtship period as well. Not too long, but not too short either. Which basically means that I need to meet my man by or before- right now.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is just the tip of the iceberg- that is the life that I am leading right now. 

My boss recently asked me what I do to unwind during the weekends. My honest reply was that I hunt for husbands. Which is such a funny image, if taken literally. Most male colleagues love joking about how their wives are so strict, as if those ladies are "hunters" and these men are "innocent animals who never know what hit them!" 

Another colleague asked me if I am on Tinder or Bumble. Dude, I live in my parents' house and use my parents' WiFi. The only mate-search apps that I use are "jeevansathi" and "shaadi-dot-com" 😛 

Movie Review: Your Place or Mine

 

God of Small Things

Whatever happened to predictability?

The Milkman, the Paper- Boy, the Evening TV

This whole world is confusing me...

These lines from Full House definitely describe my thoughts these days about so many things. In the race to different (unique), everyone and everything is so unpredictable, that it is either chaotic or nonsensical or both. That is why I crave for the normal, the usual, the plain-vanilla people and things these days. I think this image with lines from Arundhati Roy's 'God of Small Things' summarize it well. 

Movie: "Your Place or Mine" 

Genre: Romantic Comedy (Rom-Com)

Starring: Ashton Kutcher (the hottie and the techie Hollywood guy), Reese Witherspoon (have watched all her appearances on 'The Ellen Show'; and not one of her many movies before this one), Tig Notaro (have seen her in some Late Night talk shows, she was good in this one), Steve Zahn (Phoebe Buffay's "Ice-Capades" husband #FRIENDS), Wesley Kimmel (yep, related to Jimmy Kimmel) and Zoe Chao (my favorite one in this one).

Review: A predictable rom-com, which came as a breath of fresh air in the age of OTTs with all these never-seen-before-plotlines. The only surprise packet was Miss Minka (Zoe). I didn't correctly guess this character's character right away. 

 

Highs & Lows

How was your winter break? Did you go someplace during your annual leaves? What did you do during your time off? January office meetings always begin with these questions. Short answers are- Break was good. Yes, I travelled for a few days and stayed home for the most time. Binged on food and music.

And here we go with the long answers-

Statue of Unity- a trip to Kevadiya- one of the best holiday experiences

• Morning Train- about 2.5 hours' duration- including a U-turn that the train took two hours into the journey.
• Visited the Statue and nearby Valley of Flowers in free-of-cost hop-on/hop-off buses-- realization that public transport can be frequent and affordable (if not free), if the authorities are willing to. 
• Noted the availability of clean and free drinking water at regular spots across the town-- first trip where I didn't need to buy bottled water .
• Meal options were brands like Havmor, Gwalia, Subway, Starbucks, McDonalds.
• While December is one of the best times to visit this place, weather was still extremely hot. The only times my family and I used our sweaters/jackets were during train rides to and from Kevadiya.
• Night train- same train, same duration, same u-turn!

Pavagadh- a holy hill station- a trip where everything that could go wrong, went wrong

• We were still on a happy high from our trip to the Statue and planned this hill station trip for the very next weekend. 
• Googled about Pavagadh. Read somewhere that there are about 250 steps' climb to the main temple. Our assumption was that ascent, prayer and descent would take about 3 hours and accordingly pre-booked our bus tickets to and from Pavagadh. 
• Reality- It was not 250 steps. My guess- 5000 steps. It became very clear very soon that we should have opted for the ropeway option.
• In the first 5 minutes of the climb, my blood sugar level dropped. And of-course the legs ached badly through-out the descent. As someone who wasn't walking for even 5 minutes on any given day, I shouldn't have expected a different outcome(now I walk every-day for at-least 30 minutes).
• Actual trek time was 4 hours going up and 2.5 hours coming down. Missed the return bus. Didn't find any seats in any alternate buses for the next 1 hour. Then decided to take a shared taxi to the nearest big city and try for buses/trains from there.
• As it was a hilly area, the shared taxi skid a bit and bumped into a vehicle in front. No injuries, but that vehicle got many dents. Another 40 minutes or so wasted watching the 2 drivers fight, calm down and eventually settle with money.
• Finally reached the big city. As expected, got some seats in the first bus itself. The very long day came to end some 3 hours later that night. 
• Did I mention popular eateries to choose from in/around Kevadiya? In my Pavagadh trek, lunch was 2-3 bottles of Sprite and 1 American Corn cob to keep my blood sugar level in check. Dinner was a slice of Bread with Jam- back home- at midnight.
• And of-course, no photos were clicked during this trip. 
• I was so low after this trip, for next several days!